Standard Search

Silly Search of the Week Award:

Reading through my site logs I discover how people got to my pages. Most of the time, it's pretty obvious (and logical). But not always. For example, this week

Searching for Japanese tea cup size resulted in a hit on "Camille and Linda" from Rare and Precious Stones, and

Someone in search of a tushy girl snagged the fifth chapter of Loving Women. (This even startled me. "Tushy"? It turns up in a rant by a child molester.) And what's more,

A searcher for cane marks (from Germany no less; are we all clichés?) unintentionally generated a "Googlewhack" that snared my Indian Mysteries page immediately before (since I have two "cane"s and she had one) the "Famous Dungeon" of Mistress ATRIX Hardcore of Cleveland, Ohio, complete with pictures of "submissives" in straightjackets. Mistress ATRIX and I have no common ground....

The typical search-string mistake, illustrated above, is failing to recognize that there is a difference between phrases and words. This occurs most often in the fiery enthusiasm of e-lust. "The sugar cane was sweet and Sarah's teeth left marks on the green stalks" contains "cane" and "marks," but not "cane marks." How disappointing. One search specified a phrase of nine words that would offend many readers (and doesn't occur anywhere in my stuff). However, he neglected to put the phrase in quotation marks, and the exact phrase is scattered in the following:

Opening the fat old photo album in her lap, once again the woman sitting on the couch by the window placidly studied the young boy's smile, so incongruous on her husband's aging, tired face.

Oh you hot momma! In fact, I've preserved the word order of his phrase, but many search engines don't even do that if you just type a list of words without putting quotes around them. Somehow I can't summon up much sympathy for these folks. I like to picture them skipping away, when they discover their mistake, like grasshoppers off a skillet.

Note: The default setting, "any word," means "any word, anywhere." These folks are looking for "exact phrase," but too excited to remember to flip a little switch....

But The Award

goes to the charming optimism of pictures of top ten most prettiest women naked and wet. The searcher is a Windows XP user, so I'd like to remind him that Uncle Billy Gates, his own Big Brother, also knows what he was doing at 6:30 p.m. on February 19th. And all he got for his trouble was Chapter One of Loving Women. Nobody's wet there.... Go figure.

And Finally...

for you folks who go looking for variants of +Poser +bondage and end up landing, with great disappointment, at my Poser Links page, and those of you sent by the kinky sex sites to my Poser pages because I mention, usually with disapproval, the proliferation of Poser porn but never seem to actually display or create any (fancy that): I've redone the meta tags for the Poser pages so that you are more likely to arrive at the page where (appropriately enough) I rip the folks at the premier Poser SM site a new one. No link their site, though.

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